Tuesday, 29 March 2011

What It Feels Like To Be A Woman Of Today

If you were to ask me what it's like to be a 20 something woman living in middle class Australia, this is what I would tell you.... I'm very lucky to live in such a place with lovely weather, beautiful beaches, a great health care system and good education. But many people do not realise that these things do not come cheaply.

Many women I know and have spoken to feel lost. Bereft of identity. It is very common for for women to work either part time or full time, raise the children, run the house hold and provide sex on call and do it all with a smile and not lose our cool and look like a supermodel whilst we do it. Is this even a  realistic expectation?? If you look untidy and run down then you're a slob and if you look great doing it all then you're obviously not doing a good job and are a prima donna.

Women in Australia, live on average into their 80s and men into their 70s. Out of those 80 years, we will spend at least 10 of those years on our own through divorce, death and various other reasons. Many older women of today struggle to make ends meet due to earning only 75% of what their male counter parts earn, on average. On top of that our superannuation is less due to taking time off to have families and raise children. A majority of women still work in the "lower rung" jobs - child care, hospitals, teaching, cleaners, cooks. On average, all low paying jobs. Yet it's still unseemingly if a woman today wants to actually make money. She's perceived as a ball breaker out to destroy men and steal their jobs and watch out if a woman rises above a man on the corporate ladder. women who want money in order to be secure are deemed money hungry and its assumed she's only with you for your money. It obvious that it has nothing to do with the volatile ups and downs of the economy and she might just want to be prepared and know that if anything was to happen then she would be secure or the fact that so many men are quite happy to be bums and live off their girlfriends/wives/fiances earnings and more often than not men run off and leave women holding the proverbial baby....

We live in a so called modern society and yet the government has only just implemented maternity leave this year and it took over 100 years for us to elect a female head of state and yet less "desirable" countries such as India, Pakistan and New Zealand (sorry NZ lol) have all had female head of states. So much for us being world leaders and modern.

Every day we are force fed lines about how we can be anything we want and how we should be independent and don't rely on a man...well that is kind of true.  The majority of guys here in Australia that I have come across expect the women to cook and clean and raise children AND work and yet don't pitch in themselves. He sits on the couch, drinks a beer, watches tv or plays Xbox or sits online looking at porn and whinges his dinner isn't ready whilst she is slaving over a hot stove cooking something "Manly" because he doesn't want to eat anything "poofy", trying to keep an eye on the kids, stop them destroying the house and feed the dog AND vacuum the house. I'm certainly not saying all guys are like this but in all honestly the guys I've dated, married or lived with are like this..

And yet if she was to complain, she's a nagging bitch or does she have PMS or something equally stupid. A woman is forced to build barriers around herself in order to keep her sanity. Walls are too high then shes a cold hearted bitch and if the walls are too low shes emotionally messed up. Even today many women still bend over backwards to please their men because they think they're unworthy of being treated nicely or that they'll never find someone else. Changing appearances, losing weight, enhancing body features, putting up with abuses both mentally, physically and emotionally, putting up with degradation, supporting them and their lifestyles. Trying to be strong and keeping it all together when there's nothing left.

For women today it's a no win situation. You are taught that it's not acceptable any longer to stay at home and be a house wife even if it's what you want. You are taught that if you want a full time career then you are not fit to be a wife and mother. You are taught to want financial independence and yet no one is willing to help you achieve it. The majority of women can never afford to buy a house or invest on their own. You are taught that if you want money in order to achieve this goal you are money hungry and frowned upon. You are expected to be wife, mother, cook, cleaner, banker, worker and forgo your own identity. And yet on top of all this it doesn't matter what you do it's never good enough. An Australian woman lives in a hypocritical society.

So if you come across a woman from Australia and she shoots you down in flames, rips into you with a tongue made of acid and insults u  then just remember she's getting in first in order to hurt you before you hurt her, because she expects you to hurt her. Blame the guy who came before you, blame the guy before that guy for treating her like shit instead of like she was valuable and worthwhile. Blame society for putting unrealistic expectations as on her as a woman. Talk to her softly and gently even if she makes you mad, rather than yelling at her. Be patient with her because it will take a while to undo the damage done. If you run off and give up on her, she will think you're just like the rest. And remember deep down all she wants is to be loved and if you love her don't forget to show it.

* These are just my own opinions and formed from my observations. I realise that not every guy is a jerk, but it's hard to find a diamond amongst the stones*