Sunday, 11 September 2011

I'm Back!

I can't believe I haven't written on my blog for so long! I have been meaning to update it but time has run away from me once again....nevermind I'm here now. Well life has been hectic and crazy and heading down the track at full speed. Work, study and life just don't seem to want to cut any slack.....

The year is three quarters the way through and I'm still no further ahead than I was at the beginning. Lots of tears, tantrums and late nights and feelings of hopelessness. Soon I will be 28 and I've sat down and done alot of thinking and have come to realise that I'm not happy with my life and where it is heading. I need to decide where I'm going with it and how I'm going to get there. It is high time I sit down and come up with some goals that I want to achieve and focus on them and make them possible

Watch this space!

Saturday, 30 April 2011

Where Does Time Fly?

Is it just me or does the time surrounding Easter, or any holiday for that matter, suddenly become even busier? My work hours increased from a nice four and a half hour day up to ten solid hours, no breaks and dealing with twenty sugar hyped children. This left me little time to get studies done, the house looks like a bomb has hit it and the excercise routine went out the window! And now looking at the calendar it's the first day of May - where did time go???

I'm sure it was only yesterday I was ushering a new year in and vowing to myself that I'd be more organised, enjoy life more and make every moment count. Unfortunately time had other ideas. No amount of diaries, vision boards, to do lists and alarms have kept me on track. Paperwork is piled high on my desk at work along with numerous to do lists, I've promised my car I'd give it a bath for about two months now and my assignments are looking at me accusingly, not to mention the housework impatiently tapping me on the shoulder and a very sad looking bank balance. Amongst running arounding paying bills, working long hours, organising easter egg hunts and various other Easter activities, time has managed to get away from me and leave me with a mess on my hands.

Well I think it's time to get out of this mess. I need to go on a hunt for time and when I find it, utilise it effectively. Determination and focus is the key instead of allowing myself to be distracted. Stick to those to do lists and persevere. Well I'd best be off then instead of playing about online and getting distracted! LOL

Sunday, 10 April 2011

Another day, another dollar

Well here I am on a quiet Sunday updating my blog in order to stave of boredom. Too broke to go anywhere, only enough fuel in the car to get to work for the week and hanging out for my pay cheque on Friday. How many other young twenty somethings face this scenario each week, I wonder...The choice is partially my own and partiarly due to circumstances. I don't have sufficient funds to go out over the weekend and waste on pubs, clubs and various other bits of crap and yet in a way I'm glad of this as I'd rather spend what little spare change I have on bills and debts.

Rising petrol prices, rising food prices, rising utility costs and living with a father who doesn't understand the concept of saving a dollar is starting to take it's toll on my bank balance and my sanity! I moved in with my father a little over two years ago after my marriage broke down and I had nowhere to go. I moved in with a bag of clothes and a pile of debts hanging over my head. A joint loan, maxed out credit card and various other bills and an ex husband no where to be seen. Two years later, I still have a loan outstanding a maxed out credit card and an unemployed father to support. Sometimes I seriously wonder how much longer I can hold out before I go bonkers and break down, rendered useless by the stresses of today's lifestyle...

Sometimes I sit down and think about the kind of life I'd like to live and what I'd like my future to be like and I see my dreams moving further and further away. The hope of owning a place of my own, seems to be nigh on impossible on my small wage, being financially comfortable and travelling the world seems frivolous. I often ask myself will I ever get there, is it even worth it and am I just dreaming? But the thing is I can't give up entirely. How I wish I could! But there is a little spark in me that needs to be fanned in order to get where I want to go. Perhaps now is a good time to reassess my situation and start striving forward....

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

What It Feels Like To Be A Woman Of Today

If you were to ask me what it's like to be a 20 something woman living in middle class Australia, this is what I would tell you.... I'm very lucky to live in such a place with lovely weather, beautiful beaches, a great health care system and good education. But many people do not realise that these things do not come cheaply.

Many women I know and have spoken to feel lost. Bereft of identity. It is very common for for women to work either part time or full time, raise the children, run the house hold and provide sex on call and do it all with a smile and not lose our cool and look like a supermodel whilst we do it. Is this even a  realistic expectation?? If you look untidy and run down then you're a slob and if you look great doing it all then you're obviously not doing a good job and are a prima donna.

Women in Australia, live on average into their 80s and men into their 70s. Out of those 80 years, we will spend at least 10 of those years on our own through divorce, death and various other reasons. Many older women of today struggle to make ends meet due to earning only 75% of what their male counter parts earn, on average. On top of that our superannuation is less due to taking time off to have families and raise children. A majority of women still work in the "lower rung" jobs - child care, hospitals, teaching, cleaners, cooks. On average, all low paying jobs. Yet it's still unseemingly if a woman today wants to actually make money. She's perceived as a ball breaker out to destroy men and steal their jobs and watch out if a woman rises above a man on the corporate ladder. women who want money in order to be secure are deemed money hungry and its assumed she's only with you for your money. It obvious that it has nothing to do with the volatile ups and downs of the economy and she might just want to be prepared and know that if anything was to happen then she would be secure or the fact that so many men are quite happy to be bums and live off their girlfriends/wives/fiances earnings and more often than not men run off and leave women holding the proverbial baby....

We live in a so called modern society and yet the government has only just implemented maternity leave this year and it took over 100 years for us to elect a female head of state and yet less "desirable" countries such as India, Pakistan and New Zealand (sorry NZ lol) have all had female head of states. So much for us being world leaders and modern.

Every day we are force fed lines about how we can be anything we want and how we should be independent and don't rely on a man...well that is kind of true.  The majority of guys here in Australia that I have come across expect the women to cook and clean and raise children AND work and yet don't pitch in themselves. He sits on the couch, drinks a beer, watches tv or plays Xbox or sits online looking at porn and whinges his dinner isn't ready whilst she is slaving over a hot stove cooking something "Manly" because he doesn't want to eat anything "poofy", trying to keep an eye on the kids, stop them destroying the house and feed the dog AND vacuum the house. I'm certainly not saying all guys are like this but in all honestly the guys I've dated, married or lived with are like this..

And yet if she was to complain, she's a nagging bitch or does she have PMS or something equally stupid. A woman is forced to build barriers around herself in order to keep her sanity. Walls are too high then shes a cold hearted bitch and if the walls are too low shes emotionally messed up. Even today many women still bend over backwards to please their men because they think they're unworthy of being treated nicely or that they'll never find someone else. Changing appearances, losing weight, enhancing body features, putting up with abuses both mentally, physically and emotionally, putting up with degradation, supporting them and their lifestyles. Trying to be strong and keeping it all together when there's nothing left.

For women today it's a no win situation. You are taught that it's not acceptable any longer to stay at home and be a house wife even if it's what you want. You are taught that if you want a full time career then you are not fit to be a wife and mother. You are taught to want financial independence and yet no one is willing to help you achieve it. The majority of women can never afford to buy a house or invest on their own. You are taught that if you want money in order to achieve this goal you are money hungry and frowned upon. You are expected to be wife, mother, cook, cleaner, banker, worker and forgo your own identity. And yet on top of all this it doesn't matter what you do it's never good enough. An Australian woman lives in a hypocritical society.

So if you come across a woman from Australia and she shoots you down in flames, rips into you with a tongue made of acid and insults u  then just remember she's getting in first in order to hurt you before you hurt her, because she expects you to hurt her. Blame the guy who came before you, blame the guy before that guy for treating her like shit instead of like she was valuable and worthwhile. Blame society for putting unrealistic expectations as on her as a woman. Talk to her softly and gently even if she makes you mad, rather than yelling at her. Be patient with her because it will take a while to undo the damage done. If you run off and give up on her, she will think you're just like the rest. And remember deep down all she wants is to be loved and if you love her don't forget to show it.

* These are just my own opinions and formed from my observations. I realise that not every guy is a jerk, but it's hard to find a diamond amongst the stones*